obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize