I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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