She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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