i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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