We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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