You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
