Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
