You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
