Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
