How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
