i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
