Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
