i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
