Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
vagina is talking i cant
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
