You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
