And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize