I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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