Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
