1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Be still, my beating vagina.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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