I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
