fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
