So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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