I don't think brook has ever known best
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
