the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
