Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
