The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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