somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
our cab driver is having phone sex.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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