So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
