i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
