I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
