so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
