Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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