the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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