you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
