How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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