I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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