rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
