i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
