Her vagina should come with caution tape.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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