yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
