We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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