then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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