well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
