my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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