have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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