im drinking this country out of the recession.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize