he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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