dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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