Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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