Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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