I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
