I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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