She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
