So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
