And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
