your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
