So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I looked at my own cervix.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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