im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
