every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
