Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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