walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
