like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
